Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Welp...herpes.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
