I'm so fucking centered right now
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
