i think my tv is drunk
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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