So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize