While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."