Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
