Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Drunk is not a location!
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
