Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(949): View more from California

...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail

(949): View more from California

ps not my toothbrush awkward.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl

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(757): View more from Virginia

I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(310): View more from California

So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes

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(319): View more from Iowa

He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle

(648): View more from

Since when is drunk an angle?

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(315): View more from New York

mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"

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(904): View more from Florida

I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.

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(+64): View more from New Zealand

I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend

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