Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words: eviction party
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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