i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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