You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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