Swine flu. Run for my life!
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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