I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
