We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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