I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize
