just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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