almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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