In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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