You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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