He is an equal opportunity slut.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
