You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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