He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
