My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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