You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize