It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
