I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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