some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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