We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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