next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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