This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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