Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
