that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
