fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
