what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
