i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
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i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize