ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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