I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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