is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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