Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
