Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
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