And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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