Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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