found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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