Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
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He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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