I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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