Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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