the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
