Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I think my moral compass just broke
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
