Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
