Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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