How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
