What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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