Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
