I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
