Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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