so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
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