Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize