he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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