I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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