I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
