Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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