that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
so let's talk penis.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
