Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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