Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
