I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
two words...techno handjob
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
