Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
