It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize