we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
These tits shall not be calmed
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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