He is an equal opportunity slut.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
