it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
bring money and cleavage
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
