first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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