You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
