you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
