is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
