i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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