I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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