Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
